Pride in the Fall

Speaking on the phone with my most esteemed mother is always an interesting experience.

Perhaps some of you recall an incident at the end of last semester involving my summer employment. This is, sadly, my mother's attitude towards many things in life.

I love her, God bless her, but we simply don't see eye-to-eye on a good many things.

On top of that, I have a violent temper and she has always been bound and determined to say what she wants to say (EVERYTHING she want to say) come hell or high water. To date, few things have been able to stop her once her ranting starts: the list includes car crashes, broken bones, and national disasters. It does not include my aforementioned temper.

I am convinced that getting angry is a bit like getting drunk: you can't think straight and everyone reacts a little differently. (Not that I've ever gotten drunk; I got my information entirely from second-hand sources.) Some people will yell and scream when they get angry, others will feel the need to punch/hit/demolish something, and still others will cry hysterically. I have a quiet anger: when I get angry, you may not know it right away. I might even keep smiling. However, keep talking and I will probably blow up in your face.

Funny thing is, I generally calm down very quickly. Staying angry just isn't worth the effort.

In short, I believe our problems come down to pride: my mom's too proud to listen to and respect what I have to say, and that rubs my own pride the wrong way. Like two pieces of flint, we create sparks that burn us both.

It's quite the vicious cycle.

However, having calmed down, I began to wonder what else in the world is caused by pride. A few things that come to mind: the rebellion of society against organized religion, the numerous movies and songs that exalt the individual above others and even society, and the advocacy of certain politicians for government funding of infanticide. All are caused by pride...and all are destructive to both those participating in the act and the people around them.

Sometimes, we have so much pride that we will take apparent and obvious personal losses rather than damage our precious egos. People have been known to give up their lives rather than bow to the will of another. I personally find this pride in falling fascinating...in a disturbing and slightly morbid sense. After all, pride is rather intangible: what would make someone give up so much for something so vague? It's not even an ideal or a moral issue.

Actually, for Christians, it is a moral issue: our morals have issues with our pride. Quite often the duke it out inside our heads, battling for control. Thank God we have free will (literally), because if we reacted purely instinctually we would never get anything done.

To relate this back to my circumstance, it's quite sad that my mother and I have such problems. It really is. I would love to be able to have a nice* conversation with my mother. At this point, though, all we can do is work on our own personal problems and dream of the day when one or both of us will overcome our pride.

Like mother, like daughter, I guess.


God bless,
PHC

*Nice (adj.): lacking lectures, 30-minute monologues, screaming, yelling, and other unpleasant sub-forms of communication.