The Distance

Being away from other people is an enlightening experience. Being part of a society means that we can 'hide' behind others; that is, we use the actions of those around us to excuse our own. It's peer pressure, executed in a subtle way. Who are you to judge me for my beliefs? After all, my roommate and my next door neighbor and the girl down the hall all believe in stranger things. You don't like the way I dress? I could say the same about you. You think I have an attitude problem? I'm asserting my individuality.

In the earlier days of Christianity, people would seclude themselves from the world and its distractions. In the wilderness, without other people and the cares of everyday life, they would seek God one-on-one. It must have been a frightening thing, at least at first. They had to face who they really were, without outside influence, and bring themselves with all their strengths and weaknesses to God.

It is always interesting, traveling between school and home. Things change in the blink of an eye, and I'm gone for months at a time. It's a bit disconcerting to return at the beginning of a semester and have to take stock of who's here, who's studying abroad, and who just...didn't come back.

The saying is true: you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone. I miss my friends who aren't coming back, and those who are abroad this semester. I often find myself looking for familiar faces in familiar places, before realizing that I won't see those faces again for a long while (if ever).

This has certainly been a growing time in my life. Having been homeschooled (and largely isolated) all my life, I was largely unprepared for life outside my own home. Learning how to associate with other people was a challenge. I'm still terribly socially awkward...always saying the wrong things at the wrong times and making a fool of myself. I'm getting better, though; being away from home has taught me a lot about who I am...and who I'm not.

I've been a lot of things during my life: daughter, sister, neighbor, friend, counselor, authority figure, random person on a train, crazy American, world traveler, tourist, actress, musician, artist, audience member, student, teacher...the list goes on and on.

Who am I?

I'm me. Myself.

And tomorrow, I'll be someone a little different; because my choices and experiences are changing me, little by little, as I'm shaped into who I'm meant to be.


God bless,
PHC